Fat Free Friday?

In a word? Stinks! Oh, sure, I feel fabulous right now because I didn't cheat...like I wanted to. And I just got done on the treadmill...whoopity-whoop-whoop! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah,, blah...

All of that, at this moment in time, pales in comparison to the chocolate desert I just gave up. You know the one, chocolate brownie with fudge in the middle, topped with vanilla ice cream, smothered in hot fudge! Yes, that dessert! That small piece of paradise which could have been sitting on my plate, then on my spoon, then into my system...putting me in a chocolate euphoria coma...and I would have loved EVERY. LAST. BITE! At this point I would have licked my plate clean like an alley cat who just got served a giant bowl of milk.

Alas, I did not get to meet up with my chocolate-fudge-ice-cream-hot-fudge date tonight. I ate a salad, with grilled chicken and low fat dressing...and the more I tell myself how good it was, the fuller my stomach feels.

This diet, I believe, will be hardest on Fridays. Isn't Friday the most fun night of all nights? Isn't that when there is something innately in us that craves going out on Friday and celebrating the week we just completed? Don't you think 90% of the population thinks, "How 'bout pizza for dinner tonight?" Or, "let's go out and have some drinks and good food?" Or, "Do you want me to stop and pick something up for dinner?"

Today was a wonderful day with wonderful company all day, which helps me forget the food I WANT TO HAVE! I went to the movies and did not have one single piece of popcorn. I do in fact feel like a user who will fall completely off the wagon if I take that one hit. And I didn't want to have just one piece of popcorn, I wanted the entire large size box...and I wanted to mix in peanut butter M & M's and pretzel M & M's and eat until I gained back the three pounds I have lost. That is what I WANTED to do! What I did, was sit and drink my diet citrus green tea. I won't lie...it was crappy for awhile, and then the urge passed and all was good again.

Until, that is, I wanted that blasted chocolate dessert. Darn that dessert. I will dream of that dessert. I will crave that dessert when I wake up in the morning, I know it. I will pretend everything I eat tomorrow is that dessert. This is how much I wanted that dessert. But I was at dinner with a friend, who reads this...and that is what stopped me. The thought of having to put out here, for you to read, that I cheated and ate 1,000,000 million calories and 5,000,000 grams of fat. Call me crazy, call me weird, but by having this blog, it really made a difference.

Whatever the reason, I am one chocolate dessert lighter, and one very low fat salad heavier, and with that, I will say goodnight and hope you all dream gooey-chocolate-hot-fudge-ice-cream-fudgey dreams too!

xoxo