Went in for my liver...and found a gallstone! I got the results already, my doctor called me himself! (Insert minor panic attack when I heard his voice)
I knew they would tell me my liver was fatty, and that is exactly what he told me. SIGH!
"Fatty infiltration of the liver" is the song running through my brain. It makes me laugh, I think I have fatty infiltration of the entire body. It helps knowing skinny people who I know have fatty livers, but basically it comes from cholesterol and skinny or fat, high cholesterol is high cholesterol and mine has been steadily climbing over the course of the last 6 years. Treatment is medicine and the medicine is already being taken.
AND, I have a liver nodule...which means a CT Scan just to make sure it is the size the sonogram said it is. But, it is small enough that nothing should really need to be done about it...YAY!
And, for an extra bonus; I do have a gallstone! For some reason putting an exclamation mark after that makes it sound happier and more bubbly! Like it is a good thing...not. At least it is only one, not inflammed and the gallbladder itself is good so just have to stay away from fat...which I'm already doing. And enjoying every minute of my fat-free days!!!!(note the extra exclamations)
All in all, not a bad visit. Could have worse, considering they look at the pancreas, spleen, kidneys...at least all of those are working in proper order. It is a most frustrating thing to know stuff that is wrong with you, you did it all to yourself. And in the words of the great Carolyn, "I can't cry, I did it to myself," I will not cry for I did this to myself.
Today, my eating got all messed up. I fasted for the appointment and came home and had my croissant for breakfast with a kelloggs chocolate pretzel bar (90 calories; 2 grams of fat) and then I rushed back out the door and missed lunch completely. Not going to lose weight that way. So, I had a snack, just a little bit ago and it did not do the trick. All I want is ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that I am NOT supposed to have. Moments like this make me think of a drug addict in the midst of withdrawal, or a smoker craving just one cigarette, or an alcoholic who falls off the wagon and just doesn't care because the bad stuff tastes so good.
I know how good the food would taste...in fact I can almost taste it know. But more importantly, I know how badly I would feel once the last bite was taken. Funny thing is, I never really ate horribly all the time. I probably ate bad 50% of the time, the other 50% was spent fooling myself that I'm making good healthly choices. Clearly, I have issues! :) Because I didn't just get this way by way of food but also by way of not exercising...and there in lies the rub! It's the whole package, the whole kit-n-kaboodle, the whole enchilada, the whole...agghhh...food again!
On that note I am ending for tonight! Going to fix whole wheat spaghetti with just sauce (no meat tonight) and make a salad. I'm headed out later to meet a friend for coffee and I know not what to order because my drink of choice is the fatty, rich, creamy, blended coffee that is SOOO bad for you. But, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....order some tea!:)
I am going to treadmill later and because I put it on here, I WILL do it! PROMISE!!
Thank you again for all my fabulous friends and your comments and messages and emails that have made me feel AMAZING and quite honestly, like a ROCKSTAR!
Have a yummy night everyone!
xoxo
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