I have wanted to start a blog for a long time, because I love reading blogs. But, several reasons always stop me from this blogging club I so want to be a part of.

1) I'm not a great "on the fly" writer. I have to write, then rewrite, rewrite again, think it over a couple of days, then rewrite a few more times before I'm ready to say it is done. Clearly, it takes a long time. Can we say a little OCD? Probably.

2) Who on earth would want to read my thoughts, my opinions, my musings and whatever else I'd want to write?

3) I'm a wee bit paranoid about putting anything OUT THERE, you know, OUT into the WORLD WIDE WEB! Still, a little OCD, I know.

4) I write all the time, but once anything becomes routine for me...I turn into a bit of a procrastinator.

Basically I've just been afraid to take the leap. I want my writing to be as pithy and wonderful as all the smart and amazing blogs I read, and in my own corner of the world it is, but is it important enough to put OUT THERE? But then I thought about all the things I've talked myself out of and thought, who cares? Fear of embarassment has kept me from doing many things I would have rocked at...and this is just a blog...not solving the world's problems, right?

So, here I am exposing myself to the INFORMATION SUPER HIGHWAY because I need something to answer to, a reason to be accountable in hopes of succeeding in this enormous journey I'm putting myself on.

My journey...sigh...the journey of a fat girl yearning to be thin again...the journey of an unhealthy person needing to get healthy...the journey of me right now, trying to become a better me! (okay, so that last part sounded a bit touchy-feely, but you get the point)

And on that note, my maiden voyage into the blogging world shall begin...TA-DA!! (geez, dramatic much? sorry, got a little carried away)

I have found myself at 31 years old, extremely unhealthy. It's not horrible, but it is not good. And not where I should be in the least. I have always looked at myself in the mirror as I've packed on the pounds and thought "Yep, still good, no need to change."

And over the years, I hear about the obesity epidemic and how we as a country are just simply getting fatter and fatter and physically inactive. I know this is true, but, honestly, I don't know anyone in my life that is really like that. No one in my world is extremely unhealthy like that, until one day I realized the unfit, unhealthy, un-thin, unable to stop eating chic I'm seeing in the mirror was me!

WHAT happened to me? Why and how did I get like this? I'm not talking about "Oh, I need to lose twenty pounds or so"...I'm talking about, "WOMAN!! You are fat!!" I will gladly admit that in my younger days I was a girl that would say "I'm so fat," but knew deep down I really wasn't. Ahh, youth...what the hell were we thinking? But, I digress.

Basically, in the last 10 years I've gained, (I cannot believe I'm going to admit this), a jean busting 110 pounds. How did this happen? Two years ago I was on a roll, a flippin' rockstar roll! Eating right, dropping weight, working out 3-4 times a week, drinking the water, feeling the burn, doing great and then, BAM, I lose the willpower.

I got sick and stayed sick and it sunk me. I've been ashamed and embarassed because I know so many other people who have been through so much more and they don't look like this. I kept beating myself up mentally and clearly fell in a funk I couldn't get out of. What was causing this? I did want to change but I didn't know how. I couldn't work out for so long because of unbearable chest pains I was having and the medicine I was on made me want to sleep all day and do nothing remotely resembling exercise. And by the looks of my body, that is exactly what I did...NOTHING!

Then I stopped the medicine, chest pains stopped...I was free to work out and get myself back up on the exercise wagon and what did I do? NOTHING!

Was it laziness? Depression? Frustration? Emotional? Is it deeper than I just love food and chocolate?

Bottom line is I survived a pulmonary embolism and am killing myself with food and non activity. Enough is enough! I'm taking my body on and I will win!!

I'm going to chart and blog about my food intake, my exercise, my (EEK) weight, and everything in between to get me to my goal...TO LOSE 100 POUNDS!

So, I hope you will join me on my journey and get something out of it...even if it is humor, enlightening, or simply a cautionary tale, I appreciate you reading! :)

Here we go...No More "WAIST"ing Time!!